In every romantic relationship there comes a time to meet the
parents. The stress of wondering if they will like and accept you
can lead to embarrassing misstatements. To help you avoid some of
the most common conversational pitfalls I’ve compiled a list of
the Top Ten things not to say to your girlfriend’s parents when you
meet them for the first time:
10. Gee, Pops, you’re not nearly as big an asshole as your daughter
said you are.
9. Wazzzaaaaap!
8. The water in your toilet tastes funny.
7. You got a spoon and a lighter I can borrow? I left mine at home.
6. No… No… It’s OK. I kinda like it when your dog humps my leg.
5. Your daughter is attractive, but have you seen the tits on her
friend Joanne?
4. Hi, Mr. Jones. I’m Bob. This is Chuck, George, Steve and the
midget is Sam. Is Sally ready?
3. (While honking horn in driveway) Hey! I’m waiting out hear! Send
the bitch out!
2. You should be proud, Mr. And Mrs. Smith, you’ve raised a good
girl. I can’t get her to blow me no matter what I say.
And the number 1 thing not to say when you meet your boy or
girlfriend’s parents for the first time:
1. Man, living under the same roof with a piece of ass like that,
I bet you wish you were anyone else but her father.