On Saturday last, I had dinner at a local Chinese restaurant. My fortune read:

“You will gain admiration from your pears.”

Comice? Bartlett? Canned? I don’t grow or eat them, anyway.

LOS ANGELES TIMES, September 14:

According to a database maintained by Academic Guidance Services, there are 3,000 scholarships earmarked for golf caddies, newspaper carriers, glee clubbers, and band members.

Juanita College in Pennsylvania gives grants to needy left-handers.

Parents whose children were born on June 12, 1979 can plan ahead to apply for a scholarship to the Rochester Institute of Technology in honor of the school’s 150th anniversary.

Bucknell University gives grants to students who do not use alcohol, tobacco, or narcotics and don’t engage in strenuous activities.

A judge in Seattle uses the fines he collects from prostitutes to finance scholarships for their reformed sisters who want to return to school.

From the Echoes-Sentines [?], Somerset County, NJ, Sept. 17, 1987:

GILLETTE RESIDENT IS ARRESTED AFTER SHOOTING HIS COMPUTER

PASSAIC TWP. — A Gillette man was arrested at his home last Thursday night after he fired eight bullets at his home computer, according to police.

The man, Michael A. Case, 35, of 64 Summit Ave., was arrested shortly after 11 p.m., at his house, when police said they received a report that shots were fired. They arrived at the home to find a .44 Magnum automatic handgun and a shot-up IBM personal computer with a Princeton Graphics System monitor.

The monitor screen was blown out by the blasts and its inner workings were visible, Lt. Donald Van Tassel said on Monday. The computer, which had bullet holes in its hardware, was hit four times while four more bullet holes were found in various areas next to the computer, Van Tassel said.

“The only thing he (Case) said was that he was mad at his computer so he shot it,” Van Tassel said.

The handgun, which the lieutenant identified as an Israeli Arms Desert Eagle .44, has “a lot of firepower,” he said. “It’s a big gun.” Case used hollow-point, or dum-dum, bullets, he added.

Case was surprised when police arrested him because he didn’t think he was breaking the law, Van Tassel said. “He couldn’t understand why he couldn’t shoot his own computer in his own home,” Van Tassel said.

Case was charged with recklessly creating a risk and using a firearm against the property of another, because the house is reportedly owned by a relative. The walls were also damaged by the shots, according to police.

He was also charged with unlawful posession of a firearm without a permit, and with possession of illegal bullets, police said.

In addition, Case was issued to summonses, for discharging a weapon in a restricted area and for discharging a single-projectile weapon, police said.

Case spent early Friday morning in the Morris County Jail and was released later in the day on $2,500 bail, according to police.

A Municipal Court appearance is scheduled for today, Sept. 17.