After years of assisting more senior attorneys at trial, a young lawyer was finally allowed to try a case on her own. Determined not to lose, she prepared furiously.

The trial went on for eight exhausting days. Finally, the case went to the jury, which quickly returned with a verdict in favor of her client.

Ecstatic, the attorney phoned the firm’s managing partner, and the moment he was on the line announced, “It’s me! The jury just came back, and justice has prevailed!”

The managing partner gasped, stammering, “Appeal at once.”

A judge, bored and frustrated by a lawyer’s tedious arguments, had made numerous rulings to speed the trial along. The attorney had bristled at the judge’s orders, and their tempers grew hot.

Finally, frustrated with another repetition of arguments he had heard many times before, the judge pointed to his ear and said, “Counselor, you should be aware that at this point, what you are saying is just going in one ear and out the other.”

“Your honor,” replied the lawyer, “That goes without saying. What is there to prevent it?”

At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness.

“Isn’t it true,” he bellowed, “that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?”

The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn’t hear the question.

The prosecutor again blared, “Isn’t it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?” The witness still did not respond.

Finally, the judge leaned over and said, “Sir, please answer the question.”

“Oh,” the startled witness said, “I thought he was talking to you.”