The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: “Okay! Okay! I’m a rabbit! I’m a rabbit!”

For those of us getting along in years, here is a little secret for building your arm and shoulder muscles. You might want to adopt this regimen! Three days a week works well.

Begin by standing outside behind the house, with a 5-LB. potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can, if you can reach a full minute, relax. You may start feeling the exercise work with a little pain.

After a few weeks, move up to 10-LB. potato sacks After you have master the 10lb sacks move up to the 50-LB.
potato sacks. You should start feeling stronger. Then move up to the 100 lb potato sack in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute.

Next, start adding a couple of potatoes in each of the sacks, but be careful not to overdo it at this level.

A blonde and a redhead met in a bar after work for a drink, and were watching the 6 o’clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge. The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn’t jump, and the redhead replied, “I’ll take that bet!” Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the $50 she owed. The redhead said “I can’t take this, you’re my friend.” The blonde said “No. A bet’s a bet.” So the redhead said “Listen, I have to admit, I saw this on the 5 o’clock news, so I can’t take your money.” The blonde replied “Well, so did I, but I never thought he’d jump again!”