A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. “But officer,” the man began, “I can explain.”

“Quiet!” snapped the officer. “I’m going to let you spend the night in jail until the chief gets back.”

“But, officer, I just wanted to say,”

“And I said be quiet! You’re going to jail!”

A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, “Lucky for you, the chief’s at his daughter’s wedding. He’ll be in a good mood when he gets back.”

“Don’t count on it,” answered the guy in the cell. “I’m the groom.”

A lady bought a new $100,000 Mercedes and proudly drove it off the showroom floor to take home. Halfway home, she attempted to change radio stations and saw that there appeared to be only one station. She immediately turned around and headed back to the dealer.

Once at the dealer, she found her salesman and began to excitedly explain that her radio was not working, and they must replace it since she only had one radio station. The salesman calmed her down and told her that her car radio was voice-activated, and that she would only need to state aloud the type of music that she wanted and the car would find it.

She got into the car and started the engine and then said the word “country,” and the radio changed to a station playing a George Strait song. She was satisfied and started home. After a while she decided to try out the radio and said “rock ‘n’ roll;” the radio station changed and a song by the Rolling Stones came from the speakers. Quite pleased, the woman continued driving.

A few blocks from her house, another driver ran a light causing her to slam on her brakes to avoid a collision. The woman angrily exclaimed, “Asshole!”

…The radio cut over to George Bush’s press conference

If you believe in creation as espoused in the Bible, then Adam and Eve’s children would actually have had to have sex with one another for the earth to have become populated.

This is surely proof positive that Alabama was at one time the Garden of Eden.