- During foreplay, he’s always double-clicking your G-spot.

- His new computer includes a DVD-ROM drive, a 56k modem, and a tissue dispenser.

- When she wants you to take off your pants, she says, “Scroll down.”

- Tells everyone he’s a pioneer in “palm computing.”

- He’s suing Playboy.com for repetitive stress injuries.

- Her favorite actor? Tommy Lee.

- When he sees a hot babe, he wryly says, “Boy, I’d like to click on her.”

- You look deep into his eyes and see a faint image of Asia Carrera burned into his corneas.

- As you undress, he takes out his credit card and tells you his birthday.

- During sex, he shouts, “Refresh! Refresh!”

- His version of foreplay: You lie naked on the bed with a sheet covering you… he pulls it down slowly for ten minutes.

Why did the blonde’s breasts look square?

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Because she forgot to take the kleenex out of the box.

. . . when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing. His eyes are rolled back in his head.

The other guy whips out his cellphone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

The operator, in a calm soothing voice, says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”

There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy’s voice comes back on the line. He says, “O.K., now what?”