Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be at lantern and said,

“Here you hold this high so I can see what I am doing.”

Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world.

“Whoa there,” said the doctor, “Don’t be in such a rush to put that lantern down. I think there’s another one coming.” Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a baby girl.

“Hold that lantern up, don’t set it down there’s another one!” said the doctor.

Within a few minutes he had delivered another baby girl.

“No, no don’t be in a hurry to put down that lantern, it seems there’s yet another one coming!” cried the doctor.

The redneck scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor,

“You reckon it might be the light that’s attractin’ ‘em?”

A woman goes to Ikea and buys a huge flat pack wardrobe. Once delivered she goes about the business of assembling it and she does a pretty good job she thinks until a train rumbles past and the wardrobe falls to bits. Undaunted she re-assessess the instructions and goes through them very carefully and is perfectly pleased with the result until another train rumbles by and the wardrobe collapses again. Seething by this time she phones Ikea who say that’s just not possible but they’ll send a chap round to have a look.

He assembles it and just as he begins to smirk at the perfect piece of work he has done, a train goes by and it all collapses again. “See?” says the woman. “Hmm, something’s not right” he replies and grimly re-assembles it again just in time for another train to pass by resulting in one pile of wood again. He rebuilds it and says,”this time, I’ll go inside it, maybe something will come to light from the inside.” and so he steps in.

Just at that the woman’s husband appears and sees the cupboard. Before his wife can explain he praises her for a good job and opens it

The embarrassed Ikea man says to the look of astonishment and anger on the husband’s face, “Er, would you believe I am sitting here waiting for a train?”

Bowler: HOWZAAAAAAAT?

Umpire: Not bad. Better luck next time.