The devil visited a young lawyer’s office and made him an offer.

“I can arrange some things for you,” the devil said. “I’ll increase your income five-fold. Your partners will love you; your clients will respect you; you’ll have four months of vacation each year and live to be a hundred. All I require in return is that your wife’s soul, your children’s souls and their children’s souls must rot in hell for eternity.”

The lawyer thought for a moment and said, “What’s the catch?”

One day a brunnete was driving home from work, as she got out of the car she heard her blonde neighbor crying.

“Oh my god what wrong?” the brunnete asked.

“My mother just died!” said the blonde crying out.

The brunnete feeling sorry for the blonde comforted her for the whole day. The next day the brunnete saw the blonde crying outside. “Now what’s wrong?!” said the brunnete.

“Ohh, it’s terrible…my sister called, and her mother died too!”

A man was playing a game of golf, and on hole 16, he hit the ball right
into a field of buttercups. As honest a golfer as he normally was, he
picked up the ball and laid it next to the flowerbed to avoid destroying
the beautiful buttercups. A fairy comes down and says “thank you for not
disturbing my buttercups. For that I shall make sure that you always have
a full supply of butter”.

“Thank you,” the golfer replied, “but where were you last week when I hit
the ball into the pussywillows?”