A man was explaining to a friend how he managed to get home the previous night.

” I was doing just fine until I turned into my driveway”, he said.

“And then what happened?”"Someone stepped on my hands!”

Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes?

A: A whine cellar.

Some rednecks were sitting around talking about how smart their dogs were.

One redneck spoke up and said, “I’ll tell you what boys, I house trained my hound dog Jake when he was just a pup. When he pooped on the floor, I would stick his nose in it and throw him out the door.”

“Now,” he continued, “when he poops on the floor, he sticks his own nose in it and jumps out the window.”