Assembler : A formula I race car. Very fast but difficult to drive and maintain.
FORTRAN II : A Model T Ford. Once it was the king of the road.
FORTRAN IV : A Model A Ford.
FORTRAN 77 : a six-cylinder Ford Fairlane with standard transmission and no seat belts.
COBOL : A delivery van. It’s bulky and ugly but it does the work.
BASIC : A second-hand Rambler with a rebuilt engine and patched upholstery. Your dad bought it for you to learn to drive. You’ll ditch it as soon as you can afford a new one.
PL/I : A Cadillac convertible with automatic transmission, a two-tone paint job, white-wall tires, chrome exhaust pipes, and fuzzy dice hanging in the windshield .
C++ : A black Firebird, the all macho car. Comes with optional seatbelt (lint) and optional fuzz buster (escape to assembler). ALGOL 60: An Austin Mini. Boy that’s a small car.
ALGOL 68 : An Aston Martin. An impressive car but not just anyone can drive it.
Pascal : A Volkswagon Beetle. It’s small but sturdy. Was once popular with intellectual types.
LISP : An electric car. It’s simple but slow. Seat belts are not available.
PROLOG/LUCID : Prototype concept cars.
FORTH : A go-cart.
LOGO : A kiddie’s replica of a Rolls Royce. Comes with a real engine and a working horn.
APL : A double-decker bus. It takes rows and columns of passengers to the same place all at the same time but it drives only in reverse and is instrumented in Greek.
Ada : An army-green Mercedes-Benz staff car. Power steering , power brakes and automatic transmission are standard. No other colors or options are available. If it’s good enough for generals, it’s good enough for you. Java: All-terrain very slow vehicle.

Life Before the Computer

There were these three guys at a football game and it just so happened that they were sitting behind three nuns. They couldn’t see really well over their habits, so one of the guys says, “Man, I wish I lived in Ohio, there’s only 25 Catholics there.” One of the other guys says, “Well, I wish I lived in Idaho because there is only 20 Catholics there.” Then the last guy says, “Well, I wish I lived in Oregon there are only 15 Catholics there. Then one of the nuns turns around and says, “Why dont you go to hell — there are no Catholics there!”

An out-of-towner accidentally drives his car into a deep ditch on the side of a country road. Luckily a farmer happened by with his big old horse named Benny.

The man asked for help. The farmer said Benny could pull his car out. So he backed Benny up and hitched Benny to the man’s car bumper.

Then he yelled, “Pull, Nellie, pull.”

Benny didn’t move.

Then he yelled, “Come on, pull Ranger.”

Still, Benny didn’t move.

Then he yelled really loud, “Now pull, Fred, pull hard.”

Benny just stood.

Then the farmer nonchalantly said,

“Okay, Benny, pull.”

Benny pulled the car out of the ditch.

The man was very appreciative but curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times.

The farmer said, “Oh, Benny is blind, and if he thought he was the only one pulling he wouldn’t even try.”