A lion woke up one morning feeling really rowdy and mean. He went out and cornered a small monkey and roared, “Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?” The trembling monkey says, “You are, mighty lion!”

Later, the lion confronts an ox and fiercely bellows, “Who is the mightiest of all jungle animals?” The terrified ox stammers, “Oh great lion, you are the mightiest animal in the jungle!”

On a roll now, the lion swaggers up to an elephant and roars, “Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?” Fast as lightning, the elephant snatches up the lion with his trunk, slams him against a tree half a dozen times leaving the lion feeling like it had been run over by a safari wagon. The elephant then stomps on the lion till it looks like a corn tortilla and ambles away. The lion lets out a moan of pain, lifts his head weakly and hollers after the elephant - Just because you dont know the answer, you dont have to get so upset about it!

Q: These days, what do you need to shoot to win a professional golf tournament?
A: Tiger Woods.

None. “We’ll document it in the manual.”
None. It’s a hardware problem.
1.000000001.
Two. One always leaves in the middle of the project.
Four. One to design the change, one to implement it, one to document it, and one to maintain it afterwards.
Four, plus one senior analyst to manage the project, one technical writer to correct the spelling and grammar of the one who documented it, one light bulb librarian, a sales-force of at least five to drum up enough users who want to turn the light on, 274 users to burn out the new bulb, at which point we go to tender for another light bulb change …
Five. Two to write the specification program, one to screw it in, and two to explain why the project was late.
Only one, but she’s not available till the year 2000.
“It’s hard to say. Each time we separate the bulb into its modules to do unit testing, it stops working.”
Of course, as everyone knows, just five years ago all it took was a bunch of kids in a garage in Palo Alto to change a light bulb.