Abe is a new arrival at a retirement community, and is passing the morning sunning himself on a bench near the garden.

Becky, “a blonde”, is out for her morning constitutional, spies Abe, and says “Do you mind?”

“Not at all.” Abe says, so Becky sits down on the opposite end of his bench.

“So, you’re new here.” says Becky.

“Yes” Abe nods.

“So, where are you from?” asks Becky.

“Washington” Abe answers.

“The state or the capitol?” asks Becky.

“The state.” replies Abe.

“So how old are you? asks Becky.

“I’ll be 52 in October.”. Abe replies.

“What did you do in Washington?” asks Becky.

“I was in prison.” Abe says.

“Really!” says Becky, “what did you do?”

“My wife was always asking stupid questions, so I chopped her up and put her down the garbage disposal.” he says.

“Sooo,” purrs Becky, “you’re single?”

A guy is shipwrecked on a celebrity cruise and he wakes up stranded on a desert island with Nicole Kidman.

Anyway, after a few weeks they are having passionate sex. This is all fine and dandy for a bit, but the guy starts getting a bit depressed.

Nicole comes up to him on the beach one day and says, “What’s the matter?”

He says “Well, it’s wonderful, I’m on a tropical island with a beautiful woman who I love, but…but… I miss my mates. I miss going down the pub with them.”

She says, “Well, I’m an actress. Maybe if I get dressed in some of those male clothes which were left behind in the trunks, I can pretend to be one of your friends, and you can talk to me as if you were down the pub.”

It sounded a bit weird but he thought he would give it a try. So she gets into the mens’ clothing and they sit down next to each other.

The guy goes “Hey Joe, You’ll never guess who I’ve been fucking.”