Three Doctors are dicussing which types of patients they prefer. Doctor Watson says, ‘I prefer librarians. All their organs are alphabetized.
Doctor Fitzpatrick says, ‘I prefer mathematicians. All their organs are numbered.’
Doctor Ahn says, ‘I prefer lawyers. They are gutless, heartless, brainless, spineless, and their heads and rear ends are interchangeable.’

State-of-the-art: Any computer you can’t afford.

Obsolete: Any computer you own.

Microsecond: The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to become obsolete.

G4: Apple’s new Macs that make you say, “Gee, it’s four times faster than the computer I bought for the same price a microsecond ago.”

Syntax Error: Walking into a computer store and saying, “Hi, I want to buy a computer and money is no object.”

Hard Drive: The sales technique employed by computer salesmen, especially after a Syntax Error.

GUI (pronounced “gooey”): What your computer becomes after spilling your coke on it.

Keyboard: The standard way to generate computer errors.

Mouse: An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.

Floppy: The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer.

Laptop Computer: A device invented to force businessmen to work at home, on vacation, and on business trips.

Disk Crash: A typical computer response to any critical deadline.

System Update: A quick method of trashing ALL of your software.

Q: Why don’t blonde women use vibrators?
A: It chips their teeth.