Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don’t work.

A hack golfer spends a day at a plush country club, playing golf and enjoying the luxury of a complimentary caddy. Being a hack golfer, he plays poorly all day. Round about the 18th hole, he spots a lake off to the left of the fairway. He looks at the caddy and says, “I’ve played so poorly all day, I think I’m going to go drown myself in that lake.”
The caddy looks back at him and says, “I don’t think you could keep your head down that long.”

Attorney: Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?

Attorney: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?

Attorney: Were you alone or by yourself?

Attorney: How long have you been a French Canadian?

Attorney: Do you have any children or anything of that kind?