A prominent young attorney was on his way to court to begin arguments on a complex lawsuit when he suddenly found himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter started to escort him inside, when he began to protest that his untimely death had to be some sort of mistake. “I’m much too young to die! I’m only 35!” St. Peter agreed that 35 did seem to be a bit young to be entering the pearly gates, and agreed to check on his case. After investigating, he told the attorney, “I’m afraid that their is no mistake my son… We verified your age on the basis of the number of hours you’ve billed to your clients, and you’re at least 108 years old!”

At school, a boy is told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, ?I know the whole truth

What do you call a zit on a blondes ass?Brain tumor.