Q: What do you call 20 lawyers skydiving?
A: A perfect setup for skeet shooting.
Y’might be a redneck if ya hear a triangle at the opera n’ say “It’s time fer dinner?”
What do you call a blonde with a half a brain?
Gifted!
A Scottish man heads for home after spending the whole night in a bar drinking. He was carrying his little Scotch bottle in the left shirt pocket just in case. Suddenly, a robber appears and threatens him with a gun. The Scot gets scared, and the attacker shoots, aiming towards his heart, and then runs away.
The Scot falls down, puts his hand on his left pocket and feels something wet. He cries, ”Oh my God! I hope it’s blood!” ‘
Why does a blond dog have lumps on his head?
From chasing parked cars!
“Don’t trust volleyball players with your drinks.”
“Why?”
“They might spike ‘em.”