a few one liners

Q: Why did Michael Jackson rush over to Wal-Mart?
A: He heard that boy’s pants were 1/2 off.

Q: What is the difference between a supermarket bag and Michael Jackson?
A: One is white, made of plastic and should be kept away from small children. The other is used to hold groceries.

Q: How do you know when it’s bedtime at the Neverland Ranch?
A: When the big hand touches the little hand.

Q: What is often found in children’s underwear?
A: Michael Jackson’s hand.

Q: What is blonde, has six legs and roams Michael Jackson’s dreams every night?
A: Hanson.

Q: What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and acne?
A: Acne doesn’t come on your face until you’re about fifteen.

Q: Why can you always win a race with Michael Jackson?
A: Because he always likes to come in a little behind.

Q: What did Michael Jackson say to Gary Glitter?
A: I’ll swap you a ten for two fives.

Q: What does Michael Jackson consider a perfect ’10′?
A: Two 5-year-olds.

Janet and Michael Jackson were at home one night…
Janet: Shall we get a pizza and a video tonight?
Michael: Yeah, okay, can we get Aladdin?
Janet: No, just a pizza and video.

Q: What famous celebrity had the most children over the last 10 years?
A: Michael Jackson.

Q: What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and greyhound racing?
A: The greyhounds wait for the hares to come out.

Q: What do Michael Jackson and homework have in common?
A: Both are a pain in the ass to kids.

FBI have raided Michael Jackson’s house:
They found class A drugs in his kitchen,
class B drugs in his living room
and class 5C in his bedroom.

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