Taxiing down the runway, a jetliner abruptly stopped, turned
around and returned to the gate. After an hours delay, it finally
took off. A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant what
the problem was. The flight attendant replied “The pilot was
bothered by a noise he heard in the engine, and it took us awhile
to find a new pilot.”

An airplane is coming in for a landing, and the pilot is freaking
out. The sweat is jumping off his brow. The plane lands quickly
and he slams the brakes on as hard as he can, when the plane stops
he turns to the copilot, and he says, “Man, that is the shortest
runway I ever landed on.” The copilot says, “Yeah, and so wide”.