When she went before the judge he asked her, “What did you steal?”

She replied: “A can of peaches.”

The judge asked her why she had stolen them and she replied that she was hungry.

The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can.

She replied, “6.”

The judge then said, “I will give you 6 days in jail.”

Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment the woman’s husband spoke up and asked the judge if he could say something.

The judge said, “What is it?”

The husband said, “She also stole a can of peas.”

Submitted by Paul, Oklahoma City, OK

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A Man sits down at a table in a restaurant and asks the waitress: “Do you serve breakfast here?”
“Sure; what’ll it be?” the waitress responds.

“I’ll have some watery scrambled eggs .. and some burnt toast … and some weak coffee, lukewarm.” says the man.

“Whatever you say, sir.” says the waitress.

The man then says “Now, are you doing anything while the order is going through?”

“Why - no sir.” she responds.

“Great” says the man “then sit here and nag me a while … I’m homesick!”