Why did the blonde have lipstick on her steering wheel?
She was trying to blow the horn.

What does a blonde say when you blow in their ear?
“Thanks for the refill!”

What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
Pregnant.

What do you call a dead blonde in the closet?
The 1986 hide and go seek champion.

How do you get a blonde on the roof?
You tell her drinks are on the house!

Why don’t blondes breast-feed their babies?
It hurts too much to boil the nipples.

What happened to the blonde ice hockey team?
They drowned during spring training.

What do smart blondes and UFO’s have in common?
You always hear about them but you never see them.

What’s the difference between a pit bull and a blonde with PMS?
Lipstick.

What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.

Why does a blond wear a tight skirt ?
To keep her legs closed.

What’s the difference between a blond and a washing machine?
You can drop your load in a washer and it won’t follow you
around you for a week.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
“Are you sure it’s mine?”

Why don’t blondes eat bananas?
1: They can’t find the zipper.
2: They cant find the pull tab.

Two blonds walk into a bar — which is really dumb.
You would think the second blond would have seen it.

What’s the difference between a blonde and a tree?
A tree knows when it’s being cut down!

Why didn’t the blonde want a window seat on the plane?
1: She’d just dyed her hair.
2: She’d just blow dried her hair and she didn’t want it
blown around too much.

Why do blondes wear their hair up?
To catch everything that goes over their heads.

Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
You can park in the handicap zone.

How do you kill a blonde?
Put spikes in their shoulder pads.

How do blondes pierce their ears?
They put tacks in their shoulder pads.

Why do blondes wear hoop earrings?
They have to have some place to rest their ankles.

What’s a brunette’s mating call?
1: Has that blonde gone yet?
2: When is that blonde bitch going to leave !?
3: “All the blondes have gone home !”

Why do blondes drive BMWs?
Because they can spell it.

Why do blondes like the GST? (GST — Goods and Services
Tax now in effect in Canada) or VAT (VAT - Value Added Tax
now in effect in the U.K.)
Because they can spell either one.

What is 74 to a blonde?
69 plus G.S.T.

Why do blondes have TGIF on their shoes?
Toes Go In First.

Why do blondes have TGIF on their shirts?
Tits Go In Front.

What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side?
An interpreter.

What do you call a blonde between two brunettes?
A mental block.

How do you change a blonde’s mind?
1: Blow in her ear.
2: Buy her another beer.

Why do blondes where big hoop earrings?
To put their feet through.

What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more
attractive ?
Her ankles.

Why do blondes wear green lipstick?
Because red means stop.

Why do blondes wear RED lipstick?
Because red means stop, WRONG HOLE…

How can you tell if a blonde has been in your refrigerator?
By the lipstick on your cucumbers.

Why don’t blondes use vibrators?
They chip their teeth.

Why do blondes wear underwear?
They make good ankle warmers.

What do blondes do for foreplay?
Remove their underwear.

What is dumber than two brunettes trying to build a
house at the bottom of the ocean?
Two blondes trying to burn it down!

How do you teach a blonde maths?
Minus her clothes divide her legs give her a square root and
see what multiplies.

Why don’t blondes eat Jello?
They can’t figure out how to get two cups of water into
those little packages.

Why don’t blondes eat pickles?
Because they can’t get their head in the jar.