After watching sales falling off for three straight months at Kentucky Fried Chicken, the Colonel calls up the Pope and ask for a favor. The Pope says, ”What can I do?” The Colonel says, ”I need you to change the daily prayer from, ‘Give us this day our daily bread’ to ‘Give us this day our daily chicken’. If you do it, I’ll donate 10 Million Dollars to the Vatican.” The Pope replies, ”I am sorry. That is the Lord’s prayer and I can not change the words.” So the Colonel hangs up. After another month of dismal sales, the Colonel panics, and calls again. ”Listen your Excellency. I really need your help. I’ll give you $50 million dollars if you change the words of the daily prayer from ‘Give us this day our daily bread’ to ‘Give us this day our daily chicken.”’ And the Pope responds, ”It is very tempting, Colonel Sanders. The church could do a lot of good with that much money. It would help us support many charities. But, again, I must decline. It is the Lord’s prayer, and I can’t change the words.” So the Colonel gives up again. After two more months of terrible sales the Colonel gets desperate. ”This is my final offer, your Excellency. If you change the words of the daily prayer from, ‘Give us this day our daily bread’ to ‘Give us this day our daily chicken’ I will donate $100 million to the Vatican.” The Pope replies, ”Let me get back to you.” So the next day, the Pope calls together all of his bishops and he says, ”I have some good news and I have some bad news. The good news is that KFC is going to donate $100 million to the Vatican.” The bishops rejoice at the news. Then one asks about the bad news. The Pope replies, ”The bad news is that we lost the Wonder Bread account.”

Q: How do you catch a squirrel? A: Climb up a tree and act like a nut!

Where is the world’s fastest chicken from? Ethiopia!

Why do dogs lick themselves? Because they can.

What are the two things a cat is good for? Altitude and distance!

What do you call a chicken that crosses the road rolls in dirt and comes back?A dirty double crosser

Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work.

Malamute x Pointer = Moot Point, favorites of lawyers but … it doesn’t seem to matter.Pointer x Setter = Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas pet.Kerry Blue Terrier x Skye Terrier = blue Skye, a dog for visionaries.Great Pyrenees x Dachshund = Pyradachs, a puzzling breed.Pekingnese x Lhasa Apso = Peekasso, an abstract dog.Irish Water Spaniel x English Springer Spaniel = Irish Springer, a dog fresh and clean as a whistle.Labrador Retriever x Curly Coated Retriever = Lab Coat Retriever, the choice of research scientists.Newfoundland x Basset Hound = Newfound Asset Hound, a dog for financial advisors.Terrier x Bulldog = Terribull, a dog that makes awful mistakes.Bloodhound x Labrador = Blabador, a dog that barks incessantly.Collie x Malamute = Commute, a dog that travels to work.Deerhound x Terrier = Derriere, a dog that’s true to the end.Cocker Spaniel x Rottweiller = Cockrot, the perfect puppy for that philandering ex-husband.

What’s black and white and red all over? An embarassed zebra!

Why does a blond dog have lumps on his head? From chasing parked cars!