Two blondes are walking down the sidewalk one day when the one
stumbles upon a Compack, curious, she opens it and says,”Damn,
this person looks famaliar”.

The other Blonde replies,”Let me see that” and grabs it from her.
She then replies back hastely, “Well No SHIT, dumbass, it’s me.”

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive,
blonde, female neighbor came out of the house and went straight
to the mailbox. She opened it, looked inside, slammed it shut,
and stormed back into her house. A little later she came out of
her house again, went to the mailbox, again opened it, and slammed
it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man
was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came again. She
marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed
harder than ever. Puzzled by her actions, the man asked her,
“Is something wrong?”

To which she replied, “There certainly is! My stupid computer
keeps telling me I have mail!”

Fifteen minutes into the flight from Kansas City to Toronto,
the captain announced, “Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines
has failed. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will
take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three
engines left.”

Thirty minutes later the captain announced, “One more engine
has failed and the flight will take an additional two hours.
But don’t worry, we can fly just fine on two engines.”

An hour later the captain announced, “One more engine has failed
and our arrival will be delayed another three hours. But don’t
worry, we still have one engine left.”

A young blonde passenger turned to the man in the next seat and
remarked, “If we lose one more engine, we’ll be up here all day!”

“Dumb BLONDS”

There were two blonds sitting at a bar one day. They ordered
their drinks and sat at the bar for a while. Suddenly, they
both stood up, slapped hands, and yelled, “Fifty-five!” The
bartender was pretty confused but just decided to ignore them.

About five or ten minutes later, they both stood up again,
slapped hands, and yelled, “Fifty-five!” Again the bartender
just decided to ignore them.

Ten minutes later they followed the same routine. By now the
bartender was getting pretty annoyed, so he went over and asked,
“Why do you girls keep standing up and yelling fifty-five?”

One of the blonds said, “Well, we stopped at Toys R Us on the
way here and got a puzzle. On the side of the box it said 2 to
4 years, but we got it done in fifty-five minutes!”

Q: Why don’t blondes in San Francisco wear miniskirts?
A: Their balls hang out.

Q. What is the difference between a dead snake in the
road and a dead blond in the road?
A. There’s skid marks before the snake

Q. What do you call a blonde standing on her head?
A. A brunette with bad breath!!

Q. How do blonde brain cells die?
A. Alone.

Q. What do blondes and shrimp have in common?
A. Their heads are full of mush, but the pink part tastes good.