Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
A: Wave to her.

Q: What did the blonde’s mom say to her before she went out?
A: If you’re not in bed by midnight, come home.

On a plane bound for New York the flight attendant approached a blonde sitting in the first class section and requested that she move to coach since she did not have a first class ticket.
The blonde replied, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to New York, and I’m not moving.”

Not wanting to argue with a customer the flight attendant asked the co-pilot to speak with her. He went to talk with the woman asking her to please move out of the first class section.

Again, the blonde replied, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to New York, and I’m not moving.”

The co-pilot returned to the cockpit and asked the captain what he should do.

The captain said, “I’m married to a blonde, and I know how to handle this.” He went to the first class section and whispered in the blonde’s ear. She immediately jumped up and ran to the coach section mumbling to herself, “Why didn’t anyone just say so.”

Surprised, the flight attendant and the co-pilot asked what he said to her that finally convinced her to move from her seat.

The pilot replied, “I told her the first class section wasn’t going to New York.”

There was a blonde named Kelsey. Her arch enemy was a red-head named Jessica. Jessica was trying to annoy Kelsey by singing,” I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves and this is how it goes.” When Jessica sang this to Kelsey 5 more times Kelsey said,” Ok. Ok. Alright already. What’s the song?”

What’s the difference between the Atlantic Coast and a blonde?
The Atlantic Coast would never have that many crabs!!

Two blondes were going to Disneyland when they came to a fork in the road. The sign read: “Disneyland Left.”
So they went home.

Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.

A policeman pulled a blonde over after he/she’d been driving the wrong way on a one-way street.

Cop: Do you know where you were going?

Blonde: No, but wherever it is, it must be bad because all the cars were leaving.

How can you tell when a blonde sends you a fax?
It has a stamp on it.

Q: what did the blonde name her pet zebra?
A: spot.