Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?

Because she threw out all the W’s.

Q: How do you get a blonde out of a tree?

A: You wave at her

A blonde walks into the hairdresser with headphones on. She asks the woman working there for a haircut. The blonde sits down in the chair. The woman takes the blonde’s headphones off and cuts her hair. At the end, the woman asks how she likes her hair but, to her surprise the blonde is dead! The woman picks up the headphones and listens.

She hears: “Breathe in…breathe out…breathe in…breathe out.”