The father was doubtful of his son’s sudden interest to become
Charles Atlas. Nevertheless he went with the teenager to the
weight-lifting department.

“Please, Dad,” begged the boy, “I promise I’ll use them every day….”

“I’m not so sure, Danny. You may lose interest in the equipment,”
his father was quick to point out.

“Ahhhh please, Dad?”

“Besides, it’s quite an expense,” the father added.

“I promise, Dad, I’ll use them….”

Danny finally won, and his Dad paid for the equipment. As the father
was leaving the department, he heard his son call out…”What! You
mean I have to carry this stuff to the car?”

Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while
you pick your nose.

While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if
he knows where the anti-depressants are.

Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the
theme from ‘Mission Impossible’.

In the auto department practice your Madonna look using different
size funnels.

Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through say
‘PICK ME! PICK ME!!!!!!’

When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the
fetal position and mumble ‘It’s those voices again’. And last but
not least,

Go into a fitting room and yell real loudly ‘Hey! We’re out of
toilet paper in here!’

When we invade Afghanistan and kill all of the Taliban,
will we be forever known as:
Tali-Whackers?