Try this on the ol’ tongue:

If a bra is an upper topper titty flopper stopper,
and a jock strap is a lower decker pecker checker,
and a roll of toilet tissue is a super duper doody pooper scooper,

what do you call a Japanese drummer boy whose father has diarrhea?

A slap happy Jappy with a crap happy pappy.

When a teenage girl smiles at a boy, he tries to decide what makes
him so sexy.

When a young lady smiles at a man in his fifties, he turns around to
see who’s the handsome dude behind him.

But when a female of any age smiles at a man of 80, he looks down to
see if he’s unzipped.

The preacher was winding up his temperance sermon with great
fervor.

“If I had all the beer in the world, I’d take it and throw it
into the river.”

The congregation cried, “Amen!”

“And if I had all the wine in the world, I’d take it and throw
it in the river.”

Again the congregation cried, “Amen!”

“And if I had all the whiskey and demon rum in the world, I’d
take it all and throw it in the river.”

The congregation cried, “Hallelujah!”

The preacher sat down.

The song leader stood up and announced, “For our closing song,
let us sing hymn #365, Shall We Gather At The River?”