Hang a banana on a string in the cage, with stairs under the banana.
Before long, an ape will go to the stairs and start to climb toward the
banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the apes with
cold water.
After awhile, another ape will make an attempt, but the result will be
the same - all the apes will be sprayed with cold water. This should
continue through several more attempts. Pretty soon, when another ape
tries to climb the stairs, the other apes will all try to prevent it.
Now, turn off the cold water. Remove one ape from the cage and replace
it with a new one. The new ape will see the banana and want to climb
the stairs. To his horror, all of the other apes will attack him. After
another attempt and attack, he’ll know that if he tries to climb the
stairs, he will be assaulted.
Next, remove another of the original five apes and replace it with a
new one. The newcomer will go to the stairs and be attacked. The
previous newcomer will take part in the punishment.
Replace a third original ape with a new one. The new one will make it
to the stairs and be attacked as well. Two of the four apes that beat
him will have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs,
or why they are participating in the beating of the newest ape.
After replacing the fourth and fifth original apes, all the apes, which
have been sprayed with cold water, will have been replaced.
Nevertheless, no ape will ever again approach the stairs. Why not?
Because that’s the way they’ve always done it, and that’s the way it’s
always been around here.
And that’s how company policy begins….

Potential terrorist threat in the South
The governors of Alabama, Georgia and Tennessee would like to
announce that they have made a disturbing discovery in the
their states. Apparently, a small number of terrorists became
romantically involved with the locals. The result was not pretty,
and we now have the sad task of reporting a new sector of the
human race — ISLAMABUBBAS So far, only a smattering of actual
births have been reported, and we are hard at work trying to
isolate and seal them off. To date, we have identified the
following:
Mohammed Billy Bob Abba Bubba
Mohammed Jethro Bin Thinkin Bout It
Mohammed Forrest Gumpa Bubba
Mohammed Rubba Dub Dubba Bubba
Bobbie Joe Bubba Charlene Atat
Betty Jean Hashbeen Badgirl
Linda Sue Bin There Dunthat
Not surprisingly, they all seem to have sprung from one couple:
Mohammed Who’s-Ya-Daddy and Yo Mama Bin Lovin

Two confirmed bachelors were sitting and talking. Their
conversation drifted from politics to cooking. “I got a
cookbook once,” said the first, “but I could never do
anything with it.”

“Too much fancy cooking in it, eh?” asked the second.

“You said it. Every one of the recipes began the same
way - ‘Take a clean dish and…’”