… a Cessna landing at their “secret” base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pilot into an interrogation room.

The pilot’s story was that he took off from Las Vegas, got lost, and spotted the base just as he was about to run out of fuel. The Air Force started a full FBI background check on the pilot and held him overnight during the investigation.

By the next day, they were finally convinced that the pilot really was lost and wasn’t a spy. They gassed up his airplane, gave him a terrifying “you-did-not-see-a-base” briefing, complete with threats of spending the rest of his life in prison, told him Las Vegas was that-a-way on such-and-such a heading, and sent him on his way.

The next day, to the total disbelief of the Air Force, the same Cessna showed up again. Once again, the MP’s surrounded the plane … only this time there were two people in the plane.

The same pilot jumped out and said, “Do anything you want to me, but my wife is in the plane and you have to tell her where I was last night!”

When she went before the judge he asked her, “What did you steal?”

She replied: “A can of peaches.”

The judge asked her why she had stolen them and she replied that she was hungry.

The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can.

She replied, “6.”

The judge then said, “I will give you 6 days in jail.”

Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment the woman’s husband spoke up and asked the judge if he could say something.

The judge said, “What is it?”

The husband said, “She also stole a can of peas.”

Submitted by Paul, Oklahoma City, OK

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A Man sits down at a table in a restaurant and asks the waitress: “Do you serve breakfast here?”
“Sure; what’ll it be?” the waitress responds.

“I’ll have some watery scrambled eggs .. and some burnt toast … and some weak coffee, lukewarm.” says the man.

“Whatever you say, sir.” says the waitress.

The man then says “Now, are you doing anything while the order is going through?”

“Why - no sir.” she responds.

“Great” says the man “then sit here and nag me a while … I’m homesick!”

Their waitress, taking an order at a table a few steps away, suddenly

noticed that the man was slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, but the woman acted unconcerned.

The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table.

Still, the woman dining across from him appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that her dining companion had disappeared.

After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and said to the woman, “Pardon me, ma’am, but I think your husband just slid under the table.”

The woman calmly looked up at her and said, “No he didn’t. He just walked in the door.”