If it’s true that girls are inclined to marry men like their fathers, it is understandable why so many mothers cry so much at weddings.

A man must marry only a very pretty woman in case he should ever want some other man to take her off his hands. — Guitry

Ah Mozart! He was happily married - but his wife wasn’t. — Borge

Always talk to your wife while you’re making love… if there’s a phone handy.

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. — Agatha Christie

And I shall love thee still my dear, Until my wife is wise.

Bachelor: the only man who has never told his wife a lie.

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. — Socrates

Correction: Instead of being arrested, as we stated, for kicking his wife down a flight of stairs and hurling a lighted kerosene lamp after her, the Rev. James P. Wellman died unmarried four years ago.

As supposedly reported on CNN:

Undercover police, staging the wedding of “a drug kingpin’s daughter”, let it be known on the street that dealers were “invited” (i. e. Expected to attend).

The bride and groom were police, as was the band, bartender, and about half the guests. The band playing at the wedding was “S. P. O. C.” (COPS, backwards), and the wedding went through the full ceremony, including the dancing afterward.

The long-sought dealers were arrested after the “band” took their break. The last song the band played before taking its break? “I Fought The Law, And The Law Won”