The businessman dragged himself home and barely made it to his
chair before he dropped, exhausted.

His concerned wife was right there with a tall cool drink and
a consoling word.

“My, you look tired,” she said. “You must have had a hard day
today. What happened to make you so exhausted?”

“It was terrible,” her husband said, “The computer broke down
and all of us had to do our own thinking.”

1. You’ve gone to an unstaffed AOL room to give tech support.

2. You say “he, he, he, he” or “heh, heh, heh” instead of laughing.

3. You say “SCROLL UP” when someone asks what it was you said.

4. You sneak away to your computer when everyone goes to sleep.

5. You talk on the phone with the same person you are sending an
instant message to.

6. You look at an annoying person off line and wish that you had
your ignore button handy.

7. You start to experience “withdrawal” after not being online
for a while.

8. Your answering machine/voice mail sounds a little like
this….”BRB. Leave your S/N and I^ll TTYL ASAP”.

9. You sit on AOL for 6 hours for that certain special person
to sign on.

10. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your
coffee.

11. You end your sentences with…..three or more periods…….

12. You purchase a vanity car license plate with your screen name
on it.

13. You think faster than the computer.

14. You enter a room and get greeted by 25 people with {{{hugs}}}
and **kisses**.

15. Being called a “newbie” is a major insult to you.

16. You’re on the phone and say BRB.

17. Your teacher or boss recommends a drug test for the blood
shot eyes.

18. “Where did the time go?”

19. You need to be pried from your computer by the Jaws-of- life!

When you have an “I hate my job” day try this:

On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the
thermometer section.

You will need to purchase a rectal thermometer made by
“Q-tip.” Be very sure that you get this brand.

When you get home, lock your doors, draw the drapes, and disconnect
the phone so you will not be disturbed during your therapy.

Change to very comfortable clothing, such as a sweat suit and lie
down on your bed.

Open the package and remove the thermometer.

Carefully place it on the bedside table so that it will not become
chipped or broken.

Take out the written material that accompanies the thermometer and
read it.

You will notice that in small print there is a statement:

“Every rectal thermometer made by Q-tip is personally tested.”

Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times,

“I am so glad I do not work in quality control at the Q-tip Company.”