1. Sag, You’re it
2. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy
3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear
4. Kick the bucket
5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over
6. Doc Goose
7. Simon says something incoherent
8. Hide and go pee
9. Spin the Bottle of Mylanta
10. Musical recliners

An elderly spinster called the lawyer’s office and told the
receptionist she wanted to see the lawyer about having a will
prepared.
The receptionist suggested they set up an appointment for a convenient
time for the spinster to come into the office.
The woman replied, “You must understand, I’ve lived alone all my life,
I rarely see anyone, and I don’t like to go out. Would it be possible
for the lawyer to come to my house?”
The receptionist checked with the attorney who agreed and he went to
the spinster’s home for the meeting to discuss her estate and the
will.
The lawyer’s first question was, “Would you please tell me what you
have in assets and how you’d like them to be distributed under your
will?”
She replied, “Besides the furniture and accessories you see here, I
have $40,000 in my savings account at the bank.”
“Tell me,” the lawyer asked, “how would you like the $40,000 to be
distributed?”
The spinster said, “Well, as I’ve told you, I’ve lived a reclusive
life, people have hardly ever noticed me, so I’d like them to notice
when I pass on. I’d like to provide $35,000 for my funeral.”
The lawyer remarked, “Well, for $35,000 you will be able to have a
funeral that will certainly be noticed and will leave a lasting
impression on anyone who may not have taken much note of you! But
tell me,” he continued, “what would you like to do with the remaining
$5,000?”
The spinster replied, “As you know, I’ve never married, I’ve lived
alone almost my entire life, and in fact I’ve never slept with a man.
Before I die, I’d like you to use the $5,000 to arrange for a man to
sleep with me.”
“This is a very unusual request,” the lawyer said, adding, “but I’ll
see what I can do to arrange it and get back to you.”
That evening, the lawyer was at home telling his wife about the
eccentric spinster and her weird request. After thinking about how
much she could do around the house with $5,000, and with a bit of
coaxing, she got her husband to agree to provide the service himself.
She said, “I’ll drive you over tomorrow morning, and wait in the car
until you’re finished.” The next morning, she drove him to the
spinster’s house and waited while he went into the house. She waited
for over an hour, but her husband didn’t come out. So she blew the
car horn.
Shortly, the upstairs bedroom window opened, the lawyer stuck his head
out and yelled, “Pick me up tomorrow! She’s going to let the County
bury her!”

There was an elderly man at home, upstairs, dying in bed.

He smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies baking.
He wanted one last cookie before he died. He fell out of bed,
crawled to the landing, rolled down the stairs and crawled into
the kitchen where his wife was busily baking cookies.

With his last remaining strength he crawled to the table and was
just barely able to lift his withered arm to the cookie sheet. As
he grasped a warm, moist chocolate chip cookie, his favorite kind,
his wife suddenly whacked his hand with a spatula.

Gasping for breath, he asked her, “Why did you do that?”

“Those are for the funeral.”