3 new bonds are being issued:
* Lewinsky bond: Has no maturity
* Gore bond: Has no interest
* Clinton bond: Has no principle.

Sleeping Beauty, Tom Thumb and Don Juan were having a terrible
fight. “I am the most beautiful person in the world,”
proclaimed Sleeping Beauty.

“No, you’re not,” answered Don Juan and Tom Thumb.

“I am the smallest person in the world,” shouted Tom Thumb.

“No, you’re not,” said Sleeping Beauty and Don Juan.

“I’ve had more lovers than any person in the world,” announced
Don Juan.

“No, you haven’t” replied Tom Thumb and Sleeping Beauty.

Well, they decided that if the three were to get along, they
needed a mediator, and decided that Merlin, clearly the
smartest person in theworld, would be ideal. Merlin agreed
and summoned them all to his palace, where he announced he
would meet with them one at a time.

Sleeping Beauty went in first and not a minute later came out
beaming “I am the most beautiful person in the world, Merlin
said so.”

In went Tom Thumb and out he came as quickly as had Sleeping
Beauty: “I am the smallest person in the world, Merlin
agrees.”

In goes Don Juan and in he stays, a half hour, an hour, an hour
and a half later. Finally, he emerges distraught, muttering,
“Who the hell is Bill Clinton?”

After delivering a speech at an elementary school, President Bush let the kids ask a few questions. One little boy, Joe raises his hand and asks, “How come you invaded Iraq without the support of the United Nations?”

Just as President Bush begins to answer, the recess bell rings and he says they’ll continue afterward. 25 minutes later the kids come back to class.

“Where were we?” says Bush. “Oh, yes… do you kids have any questions?”

Another boy raises his hand and says, “I have three questions: First, why did you invade Iraq without support from the U.N.? Second, why did the recess bell go off 30 minutes early? And third, where is my buddy Joe?!!”