An engineering student was walking across campus when
another engineer rides up on a shiny new motorcycle.

“Where did you get such a great bike?”, asked the first.

The second engineer replied, “Well, I was walking along
yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman
rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground,
took off all her clothes and said ‘Take what you want.’”

The second engineer nodded approvingly, “Good choice;
the clothes probably wouldn’t have fit.”

I was walking through the supermarket to pick up a few things when I
noticed an old lady following me around. Thinking nothing of it, I
ignored her and continued on. Finally I went to the checkout line,
but she got in front of me.

“Pardon me,” she said, “I’m sorry if my staring at you has made you
feel uncomfortable. It’s just that you look just like my son, who
just died recently.”

“I’m very sorry,” I said to her, “Is there anything I can do for you?”

“Yes,” she said, “As I’m leaving, can you say ‘Good bye, Mother? It
would make me feel so much better.”

“Sure,” I said. An odd request, but no harm would come of it. As the
old woman was leaving, I called out, “Goodbye, Mother!”

As I stepped up to the checkout counter, I saw that my total was
$127.50.

“How can that be?” I asked, “I only purchased a few things!”

“Your mother said that you would pay for her,” said the clerk.

There was a man from Georgia staying the night in a hotel. He
called the front desk and said, “Excuse me, sir, I’ve got a
leak in my sink.”

The man at the front desk replied, “Oh, okay, go ahead.”