NASA is launching a rocket to the moon. On board there are two
pigs and Kiki, a stunning blond.

When the rocket is outside the stratosphere, the first stage drops off.
Contact is made: “Houston here, Pig 1, Pig 1, do you read us? Over.”

“Oink, oink, here Pig 1, read you loud and clear.”

“Pig 1, do you still know your instructions?”

“Yes, when we get to the moon, I press the red button to initiate the
moon landing. Over.”

“That’s right. Over and out.”

They go on until the rocket separates its booster stage. “Hello, Pig 2?
Come in please.”

“Oink, oink, here Pig 2, read you loud and clear.”

“OK, Pig 2 do you remember your instructions?”

“Yes, when we’ve landed on the moon and are ready to leave, I press on
the green button to initiate the launch program.”

“That’s right, Pig 2. Over and out.”

An hour later, when the rocket has achieved the correct speed the
last stage drops off as planned. Ground control contacts the astronauts
again. “Houston here, Kiki, come in. Kiki do you read us?”

“Kiki here, reading you loud and clear.”

“Kiki, do you remember your instructions?”

“Yes,” Kiki says, “I feed the two pigs and keep my hands off any
buttons.”

Here are some conversations that actually happened between help desk
people and their customers.

Customer: “You’ve got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print a
document, but the computer won’t boot properly.”
Tech Support: “What does it say?”
Customer: “Something about an error and non-system disk.”
Tech Support: “Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?”
Customer: “No, but there’s a sticker saying there’s an Intel inside.”

Tech Support: “Just call us back if there’s a problem. We’re open 24
hours.”
Customer: “Is that Eastern time?”

Tech Support: “Ok, now click your left mouse button.”
Customer: (silence) “But I only have one mouse.”

Customer: “Excuse me can I use this disk? It has a hole in it.

Tech Support: “Do you have 3 1/2 inch diskettes?”
Customer: “No, I only have 3 of them.”

Tech Support: “I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.”
Customer: “Ok.”
Tech Support: “Did you get a pop-up menu?”
Customer: “No.”
Tech Support: “Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?”
Customer: “No.”
Tech Support: “Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this
point?”
Customer: “Sure, you told me to write ‘click’ and I wrote ‘click’.”

Customer: “Now what do I do?”
Tech Support: “What is the prompt on the screen?”
Customer: “It’s asking for ‘Enter Your Last Name.’”
Tech Support: “Ok, so type in your last name.”
Customer: “How do you spell that?”

Customer: “I received the software update you sent, but I am still
getting the same error message.”
Tech Support: “Did you install the update?”
Customer: “No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?”

There are three engineers in a car; an electrical engineer,
a chemical engineer and a Microsoft engineer. Suddenly the
car just stops by the side of the road, and the three engineers
look at each other wondering what could be wrong.

The electrical engineer suggests stripping down the electronics
of the car and trying to trace where a fault might have occurred.
The chemical engineer, not knowing much about cars, suggests that
maybe the fuel is becoming emulsified and getting blocked somewhere.

Then, the Microsoft engineer, not knowing much about anything,
comes up with a suggestion, ‘Why don’t we close all the windows,
get out, get back in, open the windows again, and maybe it’ll work !?’