On Friday morning, I was refueling my vehicle at a local station
and there was a construction worker at the next pump refueling his
truck. Apparently, the nozzle jammed and gasoline spewed out in his
direction, soaking the left arm of his work coat. He hit the
emergency shut off and stopped the gas spill.

As it turned out, this guy ended up in front of me while driving
away. After the first traffic light, I noticed this guy is driving
around with his window open because of the smell of gas coming from
his,coat (it was 20 degrees outside so this seemed unusual to everyone
else).

Not thinking, this rocket scientist apparently lights a cigarette in
the truck and yes, his gasoline soaked jacket sleeve is now a two
alarm fire. He was feverishly waving his arm outside of the window in
a vain attempt to put out the flames. Just as traffic was pulling
over as everyone was witnessing this, a police officer stops in traffic,
and the officer runs over to the now stopped burning man with a fire
extinguisher and promptly put him out.

While attempting to provide assistance myself, I witnessed the officer
check to see if the man was okay. After determining only his jacket
was burned, the officer placed this guy into handcuffs and informs him
that he is now under arrest. The charge … ?¿?
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>(Wheeeeeee …. here we go!)
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>(Hey, whatcha doin’?¿?)
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>(I just looooooooooooove this!¡!)
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>(Do you even remember the joke still?¿?)
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>(You sure?¿?)
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>(Oh, alright, I’ll letcha have the punchline; geesh!¡!)
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>(Maybe)(lol)
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>(Okay, really, this time.)
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>(Opps, I forgot the joke. I’ll scroll back up and reread it.) (Gimme
a second here will ya?¿?)
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>(Okay, I got it now.)
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>(Ready?¿?)
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>(Whew; Me, too!¡!)
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>Illegal possession of a Fire Arm.

The old professor got his young teaching-assistant to go for a
ride in his sports car. Trying to impress her, he squealed the
tires at several intersections in a row.
“I’ll bet you’re hard on tires,” she said.
“I’ll bet it doesn’t,” he promised.

Once upon a time, in a nice little forest, there lived an orphaned
bunny and an orphaned snake. As a surprising coincidence, both were
blind from birth. One day, the bunny was hopping through the forest,
and the snake was slithering through the forest, when the bunny
tripped over the snake and fell down, also knocking the snake about
quite a bit.
“Oh, my,” said the bunny. “I’m terribly sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt
you. You see, I’ve been blind since birth, so I can’t see where I’m
going, and, in fact, since I’m also an orphan, don’t even know what
I am.”
“Quite okay,” replied the snake. “Actually, my story is much the same
as yours, as I am also blind since birth, and also never knew my m
other. Tell you what, maybe I could kinda slither over you, and
figure out what you are, so at least you’ll have that going for you.”
“Oh, that would be wonderful,” said the bunny.
So the snake slithered all over the bunny, and said, “Well, you’re
covered with soft fur, and you have really long ears, and your nose
twitches, and you have a soft cottony tail. I’d say that you must be
a bunny.”
“Oh, thank you! Thank you!” cried the bunny in obvious excitement,
“Maybe I could feel you with my paw, and help you the same way you’ve
helped me.”
So the bunny felt the snake all over, and said, “Well, you’re
scaly and slimy, you have a forked tongue, no backbone, and no
balls. I’d say you must be a politician.”