What do you get when you have 32 rednecks in a room?

A full set of teeth.

You might be a redneck if you go to cut the grass and find a car.

“Mom, how did I get my name?”

asked a boy “I name all my children after the first thing I see on the way to the hospital. Like your sister’s name is Running Deer and your brother’s name is Crawling Lizard. Why do you ask, Two Dogs Pee?”