A blind man was describing his favorite sport, parachuting. When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him: I am placed in the door and told when to jump My hand is placed on my release ring for me, and out I go.

But how do you know when you are going to land? he was asked. I have a very keen sense of smell and I can smell the trees and grass when I am 300 feet from the ground he answered.

But how do you know when to lift your legs for the final arrival on the ground? he was again asked. He quickly answered Oh, the dog’s leash goes slack.

Why does it take longer to run from second base to third base than it takes to run from first to second?

Because you have a short stop between second and third.

“My wife claims I’m a baseball fanatic. She says all I ever read about is baseball. All I ever talk about is baseball. All I ever think about is baseball. I told her she’s way off base.”