A US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien in the bushes
right by the border fence, he pulls him out and says “Sorry, you
know the law, you’ve got to go back across the border right now.”

The mexican man pleads with them, “No, noooo Senior, I must
stay in de USA! Pleeeze!”

The Border Patrol Agent thinks to himself, I’m going to make it
hard for him and says “Ok, I’ll let you stay if you can use 3 english
words in a sentence”.

The Mexican man of course agrees.

The Border Patrol Agent tells him, “The 3 words are: Green, Pink
and Yellow. Now use them in 1 sentence.”

The Mexican man thinks really hard for about 2 minutes, then
says, “Hmmm, Ok. The phone, it went Green, Green, Green, I
Pink it up and sez Yellow?”

Scholars have long debated the exact ethnicity and nationality of Jesus.

Recently, at a theological meeting in Rome, scholars had a heated debate
on this subject. One by one, they offered their evidence….

THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS MEXICAN:

1. His first name was Jesus.
2. He was bilingual.
3. He was always being harassed by the authorities.

But then there were equally good arguments that…….

JESUS WAS BLACK
1. He called everybody “brother”.
2. He liked Gospel.
3. He couldn’t get a fair trial.

But then there were equally good arguments that…….

JESUS WAS JEWISH
1. He went into His Father’s business.
2. He lived at home until he was 33.
3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin, and his Mother was sure he
was God.

But then there were equally good arguments that…….

JESUS WAS ITALIAN
1. He talked with his hands.
2. He had wine with every meal.
3. He used olive oil.

But then there were equally good arguments that…….

JESUS WAS A CALIFORNIAN
1. He never cut his hair.
2. He walked around barefoot.
3. He started a new religion.

But then there were equally good arguments that…….

JESUS WAS IRISH
1. He never got married.
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He loved green pastures.

But perhaps the most compelling evidence ………

THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS A WOMAN …..

1. He had to feed a crowd at a moment’s notice when there was no
food.
2. He kept trying to get the message across to a bunch of men who
JUST DIDN’T GET IT.
3. Even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was more
work for him to do.

Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful,
independent, self-assured princess, happened upon a
frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues on
the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow
near her castle. The frog happened into the Princess’
lap and said: “Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome Prince,
until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from
you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young
Prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and set
up housekeeping in yon castle with my Mother, where you
can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children,
and forever feel grateful and happy to do so.”

That night, on a repast of lightly sautéed frogs legs
seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled
to herself and thought: “I don’t think so!!”