Did you hear Clinton doesn’t use bookmarks?
He just bends over the pages!

What does Bill say to Hillary after sex?
I’ll be home in twenty minutes

Seen on an Arkansas Car Bumper
“Honk, if you haven’t had sex with Bill Clinton”

What’s the recipe for Clinton stew?
A small weenie in hot water.

What do Monica and Bill Clinton have most in common?
They’re both going down.

Bill Clinton is a life member of Weight Watchers
He is thoroughly convinced that “Eating isn’t cheating anymore”.

What did Ms. Lewinsky allegedly say when offered a position at the
the U.N?
Would that, then, be a “missionary position?”

During Nixon’s administration we had a crisis involving “Tricky
Dicky”
Now we have a crisis involving “Licky Dicky”

Clinton Presidential Anthem — Kneel to the Chief Who’s handling
the case? “Internal Affairs

Prosecutor: Mr. Clinton, did you have an improper relationship with
Monica Lewinsky?
Pres: Improper? … Ain’t nothing improper about that. That was one
of the the sweetest interns I’ve ever had.

What’s the difference between Watergate and Zippergate
At least this time, there’s no doubt about the identity of
“Deep Throat.”

How did Bill reply regarding questions of “coaching” Monica’s
testimony?
“It wasn’t words that I put in her mouth”.

Why is Chelsea upset about Zippergate?
Her dad is getting more dates than she is.

Why did Monica Lewinsky accept an offer to work on the White House
staff?
She didn’t understand know what STAFF he really meant.

What is Revlon calling it’s new Presidential winter line for 1998?
Shades of the truth

Why is President Clinton waiting to tell his side of the story?
He’s waiting for Marv Albert to do the interview.

Who’s going to score first in the Super Bowl? The Denver Broncos or
the Green Bay Packers?
Bill Clinton

What is Clinton’s new Secret Service Code Name?
Unibanger

What’s the difference between Gennifer, Paula, Monica & Hillary?
The first three prefer to sleep with men.

How does Hillary feel?
She may be the FIRST LADY, but she won’t be the LAST crisis.

What advice did Yasar Arafat give President Clinton in their
meeting on January 22, 1998?
“Bill….Goats don’t talk!!”

President Clinton said to Monica, “I didn’t tell you to lie in
deposition…I told you to lie in THAT POSITION!”

What’s the actual title of Hillary’s book?
“It Takes a Village . . . to Satisfy my Husband”

Realization of from another White House intern And all that time
I thought that humming was the shredder!

How did Clinton exercise his position as Commander-in-Chief?
By barking out orders . . . like “Get Under the Desk!”

Don’t feel sorry for Monica… She’ll be back “on her knees” in
no time!

Why does Clinton think he’s innocent Because he didn’t inhale the
intern!

Bill wasted all that energy running for President. He thought
they said the “Oral” Office

Why does Monica Lewinsky have such puffy cheeks? She’s withholding
evidence.

What does Bill tell Hillary after sex?
Nothing, she hears about it on the evening news!

What’s the difference between Monica Lewinsky and
the rest of us?
When we want some dick in the White House, we just vote.

Did you know Monica has a hearing problem?
All Bill really said was, “hold my calls and sack the cook.”

What’s Monica going to title her memoirs?
“How to suckseed in the Oval Office without really trying!”

Monica wouldn’t have soiled her dress if she would have just kept
her mouth shut.

What’s the difference between Clinton and a screw driver?
A screw driver turns in screws and Clinton screws interns.

Why does Monica refuse to play golf with Bill?
Because she’s tired of his balls hitting her in the face.

Bill was recently overheard complimenting Monica’s appearance.
“She’s got the whitest teeth I’ve ever cum across!”

What’s Bill’s new pick up line?
“Would you be interested in a position under the president?”

What is the difference between Clinton and the Titanic?
Only 200 women went down on the Titanic.

In a survey of over 500 women, when asked if they would make love
to the president, 83 percent of them responded; “Never again.”