CLINTON’S MEDICAL DICTIONARY….
Acute – opposite of an ugly
Artery – the study of paintings
Bacteria – back door of a cafeteria
Barium – what doctors do to patients
Benign – what you are after you’re 8.
Bowel – letter like A,E,I,O, or U
Cat Scan – searching for a kitty
Cauterize – made eye contact with her
Cesarean Section – neighborhood in Rome
Colic – a sheep dog
Concussion – a prisoner’s sofa
Congenital – to be friendly
D & C – where the White House is
Dilate – to live too long
Enema – not a friend
Fester – quicker
Fibula – a small lie
Genital – not a Jew
GI series – a soldier ball game
Hangnail – a coat hook
Hospital – a prostitute ejecting saliva
Impotent – distinguished, well known
Jaundice – to include in a group
Kinesthetics – relationships among relatives
Labor Pain – getting hurt at work
Leper – a wild cat
Malaria – shopping place
Medical Staff – a doctor’s cane
Morbid – a higher bid
Nitrates – cheaper than day rates
Node – was aware of
Outpatient – a person who fainted
Pap Smear – a fatherhood test
Pelvis – a cousin of Elvis
Post-operative – a letter carrier
Prostate – flat on your back
Recovery Room – a place used for upholstery work.
Rectum – dang near killed ‘em
Rheumatic – amorous
Secretion – hiding something
Seizure – a Roman emperor
Serology – study of English Knighthood
Tablet – a small table
Terminal Illness………getting sick at the airport
Tumor – more than one
Urinate – two steps short of a perfect “10″.
Urine – opposite of you’re out
Varicose – nearby
Vein – conceited
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