The reason it’s always so difficult for this president to tell the
truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth is because it’s
usually three different stories.

–Sam Donaldson
If the president could convince every woman in America that the Bible
says oral sex is not adultery, he’d even have my vote.

–Newt Gingrich
The special prosecutor is asking me to give oral testimony to the
entire Grand Jury.

–Monica Lewinsky
What’s wrong with extending my probe? The president did the same thing.

–Kenneth Starr
The president should promise to spend the rest of his life trying to
find the real person who had oral sex with the intern.

–OJ Simpson
Shouldn’t the president be held to the same standards as a TV
sportscaster?

–Marv Albert
If I had to spend all day trying to find jobs for every bimbo who
swore she didn’t have sex with the president, I’d never get any of
my own work done.

–Vernon Jordan
The president should take up skiing.

–Al Gore
Practicing safe sex in the Clinton White House means making sure the
door is locked.

–George Stephanopoulos
If you’re looking for me this week, I’ll be in the bunker.

–Saddam Hussein
In last week’s Cabinet meeting, the president asked us to go out and
win one for the zipper.

–Madeliene “Aunt Bea” Albright
Just Coincidence