* I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience.

* I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0, computor and spreadsheat progroms.

* Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.

* Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions.

* Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.

* It’s best for employers that I not work with people.

* I Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.

* I was working for my mom until she decided to move.

* I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one and absolutely nothing.

* I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant.

* Personal interests: Donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far.

* Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store.

* Note: Please don’t misconstrue my 14 jobs as job hopping. I have never quit a job.

* Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 every morning. Could not work under those conditions.

*Finished eighth in my class of ten.