FUN THINGS TO DO AT A SWIMMING POOL
* Stand on top of the high board and say you won’t come down until your demands are met.
* Tell the lifeguards that they aren’t doing their jobs because you have seen at least 15 people drown today.
* Ask people if they have seen your pet shark.
* Sit in the baby pool and play with the toys.
* Take a flutter board and pretend you can’t swim.
* Hit strangers with your flutter board.
* Ask an attractive lifeguard to practice CPR on you.
* Sit in front of a water jet, make moaning sounds and say, “Oh yeah… oooh that feels soooo good….”
* Sit on the top of the water slide and don’t move.
* Swim near a stranger and say, “Dammit I knew I shouldn’t have had watermelon before I came here.”
* Insist that you saw a monster at the bottom of the pool.
* Pretend to drown and then when someone tries to help you, say, “HA-HA, fooled you!”
* Scream as someone is trying to do something when jumping off of a diving board.
* Laugh at fat people in swimsuits.
* Tell people you saw the lifeguard pissing in the pool.
* Ask a lifeguard if skinny-dipping is allowed.
* Try to negotiate the price of getting in.
* Take a really long time when you are on top of the high dive and then act as though you were pushed off.
* When in line, ask strangers if they think invisible people get a discount.
* Take your towel, tie it around your shoulders and say, “Wheee! I’m Batman!” while running around.
* Hit strangers with your wet towel.
* Throw people’s things into the pool.
* Sing and dance on top of the diving board, then do a belly-flop as your grande-finale.
* Play Marco-Polo by yourself.
* Ask small children if they have seen any suspicious-looking sea monsters lately
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