One day three guys were walking in the forest when they fund
a magic lamp and rubbed it. The genii popped out and told them
they all had one wish each, so being men they though for a while
and the first one said I wish that all people in the world except
us were female,” the second guys said “I wish that all the women
in the world are made gorgeous,” and the last guy said “I wish
that these two were gay!”

A guy walks into a bar. With him is a cat and an ostrich. The man
says “get me a Budweiser.” the ostrich says “May I have an orange
juice?” the bartender nods. then the cat says: “I’ll have a shot
of Vodka–but I’m NOT paying.” they finish their drinks and leave.
The next night, the man walks in with the cat and the ostrich again.
Again, the man orders a Bud, the ostrich orders orange juice, and
the cat has vodka, but insists on not paying. The third night that
this happens, the bartender is pretty curious. he walks over to
the man and he says “tell me, why do you come here everyday with a
cat and an ostrich?” The man looks around, and says “well, I was
walking home from the bar four nights ago, and I took a short cut
through an alley. I found this old lamp, and it had a genie in it.
He said ‘Son, this is your lucky day. I’m going to grant you one
wish’ and I wished for a bird with long legs and a tight pussy.”

A man walks into a bar carrying a battered briefcase and orders a
cold one. The bartender brings him a beer and says, “Hey pal, it’s
none of my business, but what do you have in the case?” Without
saying a word, the man opens the case and out pops a little man,
about a foot high. He runs across the bar, jumps down to the floor,
runs across the room to a piano in the corner, jumps up and begins
to play. He is pounding out wonderful piano music, and people
are peeking in from the street to see who this guy is. Pretty soon
the bar is full of people and the bartender is doing better
business than he has in years. “Hey that guy is great,” he says to
the man with the case. “Where did you get him?” “I was in Egypt by
the Great Pyramids,” the man replies. “It was very hot so I leaned
against the pyramid to rest. The stone block moved and I found a
magic lamp. I rubbed the lamp and a genie appeared and said he
would grant just one wish.” “That’s incredible,” said the bartender,
“do you think it is still there?” “Oh, it’s still there,” the man
said, “but I have to warn you that when you make your wish, be sure
to speak very slowly and clearly and enunciate each word.” “Well,
it works, right?” said the bartender. “You got your wish didn’t
you?” “Tell me,” the man replied wearily, “do you really think I
would wish for a twelve-inch pianist?”

A guy walked into a bar with a cork shoved up his butt. Bartender
asks him how that happended and he says, “Well I was walking along
the beach and I found a magic lamp. I picked it up to brush it off
and when I started to rub it a genie popped out. He told me I had
A wish and I said ‘No shit!!!!’”