ISOLATED DUTY….

A guy who was in the Air Force had just spent
a year tour unaccompanied to Shemya, Alaska.
The first night he got home, he exclaimed to
his wife,

“Honey, I want you to know that I haven’t wasted
all this time alone. Instead, I’ve mastered the art
of mind over matter. Just watch this!”

And with that he dropped his trousers and shorts
and stood before her in his altogether.

“Now watch,” he said. Next he said, “Dick, ten-HUT!”

And with that, his dick sprang to full erection.
Then he said, “Dick, at EASE!”

And his dick deflated again.

“Wow, that was amazing,” said his wife.
“Do you mind if I bring our next-door neighbor
over to see this? It’s really something else!”

The guy responded that he didn’t mind at all,
since he was proud of what he had accomplished.
So the wife goes next door and comes back with
a delicious looking woman who got this guy’s full
attention! After a brief pause to take her in, he
said, “Now watch this.” Then he said “Dick, ten-HUT!”

and the dick sprang to life. Then it was
“Dick, at EASE!”

But nothing happened. So the guy again said,
“Dick, at EASE!”

But still nothing happened. So the guy now says,
“For the last time, you son-of-a-bitch, I said AT EASE!!”

Still nothing. Well, the guy was embarassed and ran
off to the bathroom. His wife made excuses for him
and then joined her husband in the bathroom, where
she found him masturbating.

“What in the world are you doing?” she asked.

The guy says, “I’m givin’ this son-of-a-bitch a
dishonorable discharge!”

Similar Funny Jokes:

  1. JURY DUTY…. As a court clerk, I am well-versed in the jury-selection process. First a computer randomly selects a few hundred citizens ...
  2. Yankee Fans Two Yankees fans are on a train up to Boston to watch their team play the Red Sox. They start ...
  3. HEADACHE The husband emerged from the bathroom naked and was climbing into bed when his wife complained, as usual, “I have ...
  4. THE KIDS COME OF AGE…. It so happened that Myron and Vinnie came of age at the=20 same time. From his father Vinnie received a ...
  5. STAYING OUT LATE…. Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, “You know, I don’t ...

Leave a Reply



Funny Jokes

Fail Bumper Stickers Short Jokes Military Jokes April Fool Jokes Religious Jokes College Jokes Gay Jokes Love Jokes Thoughts Funny Pictures Farmer Jokes Aviation Jokes Office Jokes Funny Jokes Supernatural Jokes Stories Dumb Laughs One Liners Police Jokes Clinton Jokes Old Age Jokes School Jokes Sick jokes Political Jokes Cultural Jokes Professional Jokes Jackson jokes Ethnic Jokes Clean Jokes Business Jokes Medical Jokes Kids Jokes Redneck Jokes Lawyers Jokes Computer Jokes Sports Jokes Marriage Jokes Insults Bar Jokes Animal Jokes Blonde Jokes Adult Jokes Joke of the Day

Jokes of the Day

Funny Jokes

Pages

Tags