WEIRD LIBRARY REFERENCE QUESTIONS

All of these situations are real and some of them were
mighty embarrassing. Enjoy!

Actual reference queries reported by American and Canadian
library reference desk workers of various levels.

“Do you have books here?”

“Do you have a list of all the books written in the English
language?”

“Do you have a list of all the books I’ve ever read?”

“I’m looking for Robert James Waller’s book, ‘Waltzing through
Grand Rapids.’” (Actual title wanted: “Slow Waltz in Cedar Bend.”)

“Do you have that book by Rushdie: ‘Satanic Nurses’?”
(Actual title: “Satanic Verses”)

“Where is the reference desk?” This was asked of a person
sitting at a desk who had, hanging above her head, a sign
saying “REFERENCE DESK”!

“I was here about three weeks ago looking at a cookbook that
cost $39.95. Do you know which one it is?”

“Which outlets in the library are appropriate for my hair dryer?”

“Can you tell me why so many famous Civil War battles were fought
on National Park sites?”

“Do you have any books with photographs of dinosaurs?”

“I need a color photograph of George Washington [Christopher
Columbus, King Arthur, Moses, Socrates, etc.]”

“I need a photocopy of Booker T. Washington’s birth certificate.”

“I need to find out Ibid’s first name for my bibliography.”

“Why don’t you have any books by Ibid? He’s written a lot of
important stuff.”

“I’m looking for information on carpal tunnel syndrome. I think
I’m having trouble with it in my neck.”

“Is the basement upstairs?” (Asked at First Floor Reference Desk)

“I am looking for a list of laws that I can break that would send
me back to jail for a couple of months.”