MID LIFE….
Mid-life is when the growth of hair on our legs slows down. This
gives us plenty of time to care for our newly acquired mustache.
In mid-life women no longer have upper arms, we have wingspans.
We are no longer women in sleeveless shirts, we are flying squirrels
in drag.
Mid-life is when you can stand naked in front of a mirror and you
can see your rear end without turning around.
Mid-life is when you go for a mammogram and realize that it is the
only time someone will ask you to appear topless on
film.
Mid-life is when you want to grab every firm young lovely in a tube
top and scream “Listen honey, even the Roman Empire
fell, and those will, too!”
Mid-life brings with it the wisdom to know that life throws us
curves and we’re sitting on our biggest ones.
Mid-life is when you look at your know-it-all, beeper-wearing
teenager and think: “For this I have stretch marks??”
In mid-life your memory starts to go. In fact, the only thing we
can still retain is water.
Mid-life means that your Body By Jake now includes Legs By Rand
McNally…more red and blue lines than an accurately scaled map
of Wisconsin.
Mid-life means that you become more reflective. You start pondering
the “big” questions. What is life? Why am I here? How much Healthy
Choice ice cream can I eat before it’s no longer a healthy choice?
But, mid-life also brings with it an appreciation for what is
important. Loved ones make the journey worthwhile. Would
any of you trade the knowledge that you have now for the body you
had back then? Maybe our bodies simply have to expand to hold all
of the wisdom and love we’ve acquired …that’s my philosophy and
I’m sticking to it!
Send this to four women and you will lose two pounds. Send this
to all the women you know (or ever knew), and you will
lose 10 pounds.
If you delete this message, you will gain 10
pounds immediately.
(That’s why I had to pass this on — I didn’t
want to risk it!) Don’t
want to take any chances of gaining more weight.
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