MID-LIFE….

I’ve seen two shows lately that went on and on about how mid-life
is a great time for women. Just last week Oprah had a whole show on
how great menopause will be….

Puhleeeeeeeze!

I’ve had a few thoughts of my own and would like to share them with
you. Whether you are pushing 40, 50, 60
(or maybe even just pushing your luck) you’ll probably relate.

Mid-life is when the growth of hair on our legs slows down.
This gives us plenty of time to care for our newly acquired mustache.

Mid-life is when you can stand naked in front of a mirror
and you can see your rear without turning around.

Mid-life is when you want to grab every firm young lovely in a tube
top and scream, Listen honey, even the Roman empire fell
and those will too.

Mid-life brings wisdom to know that life throws us curves and
we’re sitting on our biggest ones.

Mid-life is when you look at your-know-it-all, teenager and think:
“For this I have stretch marks?”

In mid-life your memory starts to go. In fact the only thing we can
retain is water.

Mid-life means that your Body By Jake now includes Legs By Rand
McNally — more red and blue lines than an accurately scaled map of
Wisconsin.

Mid-life means that you become more reflective…
You start pondering the big questions. What is life? Why am I here?
How much Healthy Choice ice cream can I eat before it’s no longer a
healthy choice?

But mid-life also brings with it an appreciation for what is important.
We realize that breasts sag, hips expand and chins double, but our
loved ones make the journey worthwhile. Would any of you trade the
knowledge that you have now for the body you had way back when?

Maybe our bodies simply have to expand to hold all the wisdom and
love we’ve acquired.

That’s my philosophy and I’m sticking to it!

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