MOMMY, MOMMY JOKES….
Mommy, Mommy! Why’s everybody running? Shut up and reload.
Mommy, Mommy! Why are we pushing the car off the cliff? Shut up son,
you’ll wake your father.
Mommy, Mommy! What’s an orgasm? I don’t know dear, ask your father.
Mommy, Mommy! Daddy’s running down the street! Shut up and step on
the gas!
Mommy, Mommy! My head hurts! Shut up and get away from the dart board!
Mommy, Mommy! Where did your scabs go? Shut up and eat your corn
flakes!
Mommy, Mommy! I hate Daddy’s guts. Shut up kid and keep eating.
Mommy, Mommy! Grandpa’s going out! Well throw some more gasoline on
him then.
Mommy, Mommy, can I wear a bra now? I’m 16! Shut up Albert…
Mommy, mommy, are you sure this is how to learn to swim? Shut up and
get back in the sack!
Mommy, mommy, can I lick the bowl? Shut up and flush.
Mommy, Mommy! Daddy’s on fire! Shut up and get the marshmallows!
Mommy, Mommy! I’ve lost my fingers! Shut up and eat your french fries!
Mommy, Mommy! Daddy went through the meat grinder! Shut up and eat
your hamburger!
Mommy, Mommy! Daddy puked! Shut up and get a fork, before your sister
gets all the big chunks!
Mommy, Mommy! I don’t like this spaghetti! Shut up or I’ll rip the
veins outta yer other arm!!!
Mommy, Mommy! When will we have this nice yellow pudding again? Shut
up, you know that grandma’s leg is no longer infected.
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