One warm summer evening as dusk approached, a snail was sliding home from a day at the lake.

Along the way, Mr. Snail had to venture into a shady part of the neighborhood. Careful though he was, Mr. Snail was unexpectedly approached from behind by two rogue turtles. The turtles commenced to attack Mr. Snail, striking him about the head and tail with their front and rear legs. They robbed him of what little valuables he carried with him, leaving him for dead.

As luck would have it, a police officer on routine patrol came across the batted snail — still clinging on to life. As the officer awaited for medical assistance to arrive, he empathetically began his preliminary investigation into this heinous crime.

“Tell me, Mr. Snail, who did this to you?” the officer inquired.

“I don’t know,” responded the snail, in obvious pain and confusion, “it all happened so fast . . . ”